its a Friday night, am in bed and in the company of a cuppa. before you go and think how pitiful that sounds and feel somewhat sorry for me, to me that's my perfect idea of weekend relaxation and 'chills' (I tried other ideas and usually found them repulsive) . any who, am here watching YouTube videos of Zambian weddings and that kind of stuff and am 'oooing' and 'awwwing' and thinking to myself of how much I just love weddings, and I just love love! ... I don't know if that makes sense but it does to me...hahaha ... anyway, so looking at these couples or love birds as they call them it takes me back to the question that I usually ask myself, "will I ever be ready for such a huge commitment and how will I know if I really am?" .. its one thing to be dreamy about weddings and another thing to do marriage, they are totally two different things. And how did I get to thinking of weddings and marriage in the first place? right! the Boys II Men song ' can you stand the rains' after watching... well I don't remember the title of the movie. anyways I know I can be sure that when the write time comes the holy spirit will let me know and I definitely sure it will come because I read somewhere that "none shall lack her mate". Yep! so in the mean while I guess I can relax and take as much time as I need knowing that he's out there somewhere and that when he finally arrives ill be ready and I'll know it . As for now and head back to where I left off, 'owwing & awwwing' at you tube wedding videos:)
Little jottings from old diaries ...
Writing has always been the easiest way for me to express freely what's on the inside , I still find that I fall short of words when in it comes to speaking. Iv tried and maybe still trying to improve on it but let's just say its a work in progress. Coming back to writing, iv kept a few of my Journals from time back and from time to time I get to read them again, and most of the times the word and the writings feel new to me, almost like I never wrote them. And other times they are the exact words I need for that particular moment even when the words are old. Its a Monday today but for some reason it feels like a Sunday or Saturday, maybe its cause I stayed in the house the whole day, am at a point where my mind is bubbling with a lot of things; there's a war going on inside, More like a battle between faith and fear. here's what I got to find in one of my journals that has sparked something inside me .
"put your best into anything you do" - Mary Kay Ash
"We must have a theme goal, a purpose in our lives . If you don't know where you are aiming you don't have a goal. My goal is to live my life in such a way that when I die someone can say she care" - Mary Kay Ash
"it takes a good deal of bravery to stand up to our friends, but as much to stand up to our enemies" - JK Rowling
"What's the worst that could happen. everyone turned me down. Big deal!" - JK Rowling
"I got my start by giving myself a start" - Madame CJ Walker
"A dreamer looks beyond the limits of today to the possibilities of tomorrow and sees what can be instead of settling for what is.
A dreamer imagines the most wonderful new things and finds a way to make them real
A dreamer knows that stars were made to wish upon and that wishes come True" - I don't remember author
~~~~ I guess am a dreamer who needs to gather up the courage to walk into my dreams and to find their place in this world ~~~~
Question is, what are my dreams, and what is my purpose?....... the answers to these questions lie within me, it all comes down to Courage & Confidence!
"Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest". - Joshua 1:9
"So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded " - Hebrews 10:35
at this moment in time ...
Every night I leave my bedroom blinds half open, this is because I love the view of the city lights in the dark, not for any particular reason but one of them is that I love how from my room the city is reduced to sprinkles of scattered lights.
That is a view of Perth city centre in western Australia. seven months ago at twenty something years old I packed up my bags and flew 19hours across the Indian ocean, actually its something that I had looked forward to for a very long time, and now here I am. Perth at first sight wasn't all too impressive for me, I had higher expectations but they were sort of dampened, I guess that's what happens when you only get snapshots of the city. But then again its not a terrible place to live, just not for me I guess. its here in Perth that I got to see the ocean for the first time, it was so beautiful that I was almost brought to tears, I could feel them burning hot at the back of my eyes. It was a moment of 'African girl meets ocean', I guess that is what happens when you from a landlocked country and never travelled that much before.
since that encounter I haven't been back to the beach again, its summer right now and almost desert hot but the thought of going to the beach is almost like a pipe dream when you are pressed for time, not like am missing out on much except for the view and serenity, I cant swim and the thought of sharks .... well let's just say am not the only one who's a) frightened of becoming a shark's morning or afternoon tea b) who just doesn't have enough time to go all the way to the beach.
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| makeshift beach outside the state library ... aussies never run short of ideas:) |
