its a Friday night, am in bed and in the company of a cuppa. before you go and think how pitiful that sounds and feel somewhat sorry for me, to me that's my perfect idea of weekend relaxation and 'chills' (I tried other ideas and usually found them repulsive) . any who, am here watching YouTube videos of Zambian weddings and that kind of stuff and am 'oooing' and 'awwwing' and thinking to myself of how much I just love weddings, and I just love love! ... I don't know if that makes sense but it does to me...hahaha ... anyway, so looking at these couples or love birds as they call them it takes me back to the question that I usually ask myself, "will I ever be ready for such a huge commitment and how will I know if I really am?" .. its one thing to be dreamy about weddings and another thing to do marriage, they are totally two different things. And how did I get to thinking of weddings and marriage in the first place? right! the Boys II Men song ' can you stand the rains' after watching... well I don't remember the title of the movie. anyways I know I can be sure that when the write time comes the holy spirit will let me know and I definitely sure it will come because I read somewhere that "none shall lack her mate". Yep! so in the mean while I guess I can relax and take as much time as I need knowing that he's out there somewhere and that when he finally arrives ill be ready and I'll know it . As for now and head back to where I left off, 'owwing & awwwing' at you tube wedding videos:)
Little jottings from old diaries ...
Writing has always been the easiest way for me to express freely what's on the inside , I still find that I fall short of words when in it comes to speaking. Iv tried and maybe still trying to improve on it but let's just say its a work in progress. Coming back to writing, iv kept a few of my Journals from time back and from time to time I get to read them again, and most of the times the word and the writings feel new to me, almost like I never wrote them. And other times they are the exact words I need for that particular moment even when the words are old. Its a Monday today but for some reason it feels like a Sunday or Saturday, maybe its cause I stayed in the house the whole day, am at a point where my mind is bubbling with a lot of things; there's a war going on inside, More like a battle between faith and fear. here's what I got to find in one of my journals that has sparked something inside me .
"put your best into anything you do" - Mary Kay Ash
"We must have a theme goal, a purpose in our lives . If you don't know where you are aiming you don't have a goal. My goal is to live my life in such a way that when I die someone can say she care" - Mary Kay Ash
"it takes a good deal of bravery to stand up to our friends, but as much to stand up to our enemies" - JK Rowling
"What's the worst that could happen. everyone turned me down. Big deal!" - JK Rowling
"I got my start by giving myself a start" - Madame CJ Walker
"A dreamer looks beyond the limits of today to the possibilities of tomorrow and sees what can be instead of settling for what is.
A dreamer imagines the most wonderful new things and finds a way to make them real
A dreamer knows that stars were made to wish upon and that wishes come True" - I don't remember author
~~~~ I guess am a dreamer who needs to gather up the courage to walk into my dreams and to find their place in this world ~~~~
Question is, what are my dreams, and what is my purpose?....... the answers to these questions lie within me, it all comes down to Courage & Confidence!
"Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest". - Joshua 1:9
"So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded " - Hebrews 10:35
at this moment in time ...
Every night I leave my bedroom blinds half open, this is because I love the view of the city lights in the dark, not for any particular reason but one of them is that I love how from my room the city is reduced to sprinkles of scattered lights.
That is a view of Perth city centre in western Australia. seven months ago at twenty something years old I packed up my bags and flew 19hours across the Indian ocean, actually its something that I had looked forward to for a very long time, and now here I am. Perth at first sight wasn't all too impressive for me, I had higher expectations but they were sort of dampened, I guess that's what happens when you only get snapshots of the city. But then again its not a terrible place to live, just not for me I guess. its here in Perth that I got to see the ocean for the first time, it was so beautiful that I was almost brought to tears, I could feel them burning hot at the back of my eyes. It was a moment of 'African girl meets ocean', I guess that is what happens when you from a landlocked country and never travelled that much before.
since that encounter I haven't been back to the beach again, its summer right now and almost desert hot but the thought of going to the beach is almost like a pipe dream when you are pressed for time, not like am missing out on much except for the view and serenity, I cant swim and the thought of sharks .... well let's just say am not the only one who's a) frightened of becoming a shark's morning or afternoon tea b) who just doesn't have enough time to go all the way to the beach.
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| makeshift beach outside the state library ... aussies never run short of ideas:) |
my sister sings "how he loves us" by kim walker.
My family is one of the most precious things I have, and whenever we take time off our busy schedule to spent together it makes me really happy . I consider myself very blessed , that I could be so far away from home and still get to be with family. It takes a while sometimes before we could gather together but I think that makes it even more exciting, you get to look forward to the laughter , the too loud conversations and jokes and encouragement and the warmth .... and sometimes some singing too, yep! we are a family of many talents, this was a couple of months ago , a day or two after I arrived in Perth and my sister, brother in law cousins paid me a welcome visit .. priceless moments:)
Of Changes and moves .......
ive got my backs packed up and all ready to leave, the reality of this hasnt really sunk in yet! i think it will finally hit home when the last boarding call is made and i get to bid my family goodbye, knowing that it will be the last time i will be seen as a child in the eyes of my mother and father, and perhaps the next time they will get to see me they will be discussing my bride price with my future in-laws. Am so ready for the move as hard is it will be, but change is inevitable and constant and so i must fully embrace it. at the same time am so looking forward to seeing my siblings and my nieces and nephews (being an aunt is the most exciting thing for me)
The embassy is taking their time to issue my visa , its been 4 weeks already! but am not worried though, am only expecting a positive outcome for my application as my mind is already made up for this new page in my life. and am so confident in my God because i know that he is for me so i got nothing to worry about......
Thought for Mother's Day ..
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| mummy & Baby Ali:) |
A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials, heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine, desert us when troubles thicken around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts. #### Pastor Tinashe - (Seven streams church)
Easter praise ...
as the month comes to a close marking the end of the first quarter of the year, a month which was declared a month of songs (by the holyspirit through my man of God whom i love so dearly). it has been a month were we sang songs of praise, songs of worship. We sang in the spirit and celebrated the goodness of God. As we sang we remembered Paul and Silas while they were in jail. They sung songs and we all know how the prison cell shook and they walked to freedom. We joined GOD in singing as we heard the melodies of his songs in our hearts. YES GOD SINGS TOO! he sings over his children
Even as i sing songs of praise, my heart is full of gratitude for the things God is continuing to do in my life,
never before have i enjoyed such fellowship with the holy spirit as i am doing right now, and because of that he is daily taking me to a new level of glory, the things i used to stumble and trip over, i nolonger do . I have this new understanding and revelation of his word, i nolonger fight the devil but i fight the good fight of faith, because i now know and understand who i am in christ !
It is this my new found identity that makes me feel like am flying each morning that i wake up, so instead of having those monday blues i have everyday morning smiles because i know that my father is singing songs of praise over me ...wow! It's the most wonderful and amazing life i have come to know, its impossile to see myself without God in my life, am most grateful that he has seen me through from what i used to be, to where i am today and up to who i will be and where i will be tomorrow, that is my sure confidence, future security and assuarance right there. So there is nothing left for me to worry about , all i have to do i just sit back , rest in him and sing malibongwe!! - That's the song that is on my heart right now ..........
MALIBONGWE (LET HIS NAME BE PRAISED)
Ngaphandle kwakho (Without you)
Anginathemba, anginalutho (I have no hope, I have nothing)
Wangifela esiphambanweni (you died for me at the cross)
Wangikhipha ezonweni zam (You got me out of my sins)
Ngasho ngahlala nawe(and I got to dwell with you)
Malibongwe igama lakho (let your name be praised)
.
Zepheniah 3:17 says "The Lord your God is in the midst of you, a Mighty One, a Savior [Who saves]! He will rejoice over you with joy; He will rest [in silent satisfaction] and in His love He will be silent and make no mention [of past sins, or even recall them]; He will exult(celebrate) over you with singing."
Even as i have prayed and waited on the lord patiently, he has finally put a new song in my heart, a song of victory and i will continue to sing it even way past the month of march, yes! this train is pushing foward and there is no stopping it, not even the physical situations will set me aback, even though everyone else around cannot see and hear this moving train, i see it in my spirit! Oh! bless the lord my soul
Psalm 40:1-3
"1. I waited patiently for God to help me; then he listened and heard my cry. 2. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out from the bog and the mire, and set my feet on a hard, firm path, and steadied me as I walked along. 3. He has given me a new song to sing, of praises to our God. Now many will hear of glorious things he did for me, and stand in awe before the Lord, and put their trust in him"
Even as i sing songs of praise, my heart is full of gratitude for the things God is continuing to do in my life,
never before have i enjoyed such fellowship with the holy spirit as i am doing right now, and because of that he is daily taking me to a new level of glory, the things i used to stumble and trip over, i nolonger do . I have this new understanding and revelation of his word, i nolonger fight the devil but i fight the good fight of faith, because i now know and understand who i am in christ !
It is this my new found identity that makes me feel like am flying each morning that i wake up, so instead of having those monday blues i have everyday morning smiles because i know that my father is singing songs of praise over me ...wow! It's the most wonderful and amazing life i have come to know, its impossile to see myself without God in my life, am most grateful that he has seen me through from what i used to be, to where i am today and up to who i will be and where i will be tomorrow, that is my sure confidence, future security and assuarance right there. So there is nothing left for me to worry about , all i have to do i just sit back , rest in him and sing malibongwe!! - That's the song that is on my heart right now ..........
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| Me getting posie.. love my african print dress! |
MALIBONGWE (LET HIS NAME BE PRAISED)
Ngaphandle kwakho (Without you)
Anginathemba, anginalutho (I have no hope, I have nothing)
Wangifela esiphambanweni (you died for me at the cross)
Wangikhipha ezonweni zam (You got me out of my sins)
Ngasho ngahlala nawe(and I got to dwell with you)
Malibongwe igama lakho (let your name be praised)
I Promise Myself…
- To be so strong that nothing can disturb my peace of mind.
- To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to everyone I meet.
- To make all my friends feel that there is something worthwhile in them.
- To look at the sunny-side of everything and make my optimism come true.
- To think only of the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best.
- To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as I am about my own.
- To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
- To wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile to every living creature I meet.
- To give so much time improving myself that I have no time to criticize others.
- To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
- To think well of myself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words, but in great deeds.
- To live in the faith that the whole world is on my side, so long as I am true to the best that is in me.
~ Christian D. Larson ~
Finding Fulfillment (Modifying My Mindset)
word borrowed from Treena Reed
"Along the way I've searched for fulfillment in all the wrong places. I've looked for it in my relationships with my family, my coworkers, my friends, boyfriends; I've sought it by expanding my knowledge, by reading, by traveling, by studying; I've hunted for it in my job, volunteer opportunities, service, and other noble pursuits. I've searched for fulfillment in all these good things, but the one place I failed to look was the one true place it can be found—in a rich, full relationship with God.
I desire to live up to my potential; not the potential I or others see, but the potential God sees in me.
Unfortunately I have become self-sufficient, and too often this stubborn independence seeps into my relationship with God. I believe I can do it on my own, or maybe with a gentle nudge in the right direction, I can continue down the right path on my own. When the inevitable happens, and I find myself lost, I cry out again, “God show me the way so I can walk in it!” But I’ve learned that instead of asking Him to show me the way, I should ask Him to lead me in His way—walking by my side, holding my hand, and carrying me through the tough times.
So join me as I change my mindset and seek fulfillment in a rich, full relationship with God. Join me as I ask Him to walk with me, allowing His will to become fully develop in my life. Only then I can finally embrace and experience the joy of this journey—a journey overflowing with abundant fulfillment that comes from fully embracing God’s will and urgently pursuing an intimate relationship with Him.
Final Thought: Every attempt to find the fulfillment I so desperately sought outside of God left me looking for more, searching for answers, feeling empty and void. Every single attempt ended in disappointment and failure until I looked to God."
"Along the way I've searched for fulfillment in all the wrong places. I've looked for it in my relationships with my family, my coworkers, my friends, boyfriends; I've sought it by expanding my knowledge, by reading, by traveling, by studying; I've hunted for it in my job, volunteer opportunities, service, and other noble pursuits. I've searched for fulfillment in all these good things, but the one place I failed to look was the one true place it can be found—in a rich, full relationship with God.
I desire to live up to my potential; not the potential I or others see, but the potential God sees in me.
Unfortunately I have become self-sufficient, and too often this stubborn independence seeps into my relationship with God. I believe I can do it on my own, or maybe with a gentle nudge in the right direction, I can continue down the right path on my own. When the inevitable happens, and I find myself lost, I cry out again, “God show me the way so I can walk in it!” But I’ve learned that instead of asking Him to show me the way, I should ask Him to lead me in His way—walking by my side, holding my hand, and carrying me through the tough times.
So join me as I change my mindset and seek fulfillment in a rich, full relationship with God. Join me as I ask Him to walk with me, allowing His will to become fully develop in my life. Only then I can finally embrace and experience the joy of this journey—a journey overflowing with abundant fulfillment that comes from fully embracing God’s will and urgently pursuing an intimate relationship with Him.
Final Thought: Every attempt to find the fulfillment I so desperately sought outside of God left me looking for more, searching for answers, feeling empty and void. Every single attempt ended in disappointment and failure until I looked to God."
AAAAH ..... My God is God!
here's to been 23 and having a niece to share the same birthday with ..... aaaaaah! my God never stops to surprise me! .............. THANK U Lord! <3
happy 1st birthday precious one!!!
The Big Chop!
And that is me at work on my first day of publicly having a teeny weeny afro !!:=))
