So my hair Survived!

few days before my sister's wedding:)

 So my hair was this Close to losing its texture involuntarily coz of my sister's wedding but thank goodness for weaves ! it survived ....and i ended up with this.......

at the wedding!

and now 3 weeks after the wedding am seriously contemplating on voluntarily texturizing it... i know! i know! right now my mind keeps screaming at me "you cant do that after all you've said!"
but the same mind is already stuck on doing it so ill end up doing it anyways...been planning on chopping it off next so might as well play around with it before i get rid of it:)

My sister , The most lovely Bride!!

My older sister just got married , she may not be so bigger than me but where am from, the fact that she is now a married woman , the gap has been pushed way up . I must say I am most proud of her because i have come to see the woman she has matured and grown into , and above all a mighty woman of God of which Her husband has had a whole lot to do with this woman she has become , a great example she has set for me i must say , I love her so dearly and thank the lord for her , who knew we would go from fighting over who rinses or dries the dishes or get caught drinking one of younger sister's milk and get a really good beating from mum for it, ah! what precious memories, and here we are today, all thanks to God!!......... these are a few pictures from the day of the wedding,  she's the most lovely bride i have ever seen not just from the outside , her beauty comes from the inside and rightly radiates on the outside xxx



getting preped!





My Take on hair

 

 

 

 

So i know i have been fussing so much about natural hair blah! blah! blah! and all that, so for a minute I had to stop and make it clear to myself what really my stance is on the matter, and it came down to this. sometimes i like my hair straightened and sometimes i like it rough and untamed in its natural state, on other days i like it weaved or braided but at the end of the day its not how i wear my hair that makes me more or less true to who I am , first as a child of God and secondly as an African.  Wearing my hair straight doesnt mean I want to be white, or that am a fake or not proud of my ethnicity and wearing my hair curly doent make me more African than the other person. What matters most is what is on the insides as opposed to what is on the outside, it all comes down to the mindset , personal preference and a touch of variety maybe.  But it is worthy to note that going around with natural hair takes a lot of courage and having a great sense of worth from within because it hasnt been considered the 'norm' for quite some time now especially were am from, and i must say its been a great experience for me. As for relaxers am still keeping away from them for my hair's health reasons and am happy to note that almost done growing out the front portion which i used to leave out when i did a weave, means i gotta sew everything in now. anywho that is that, how i wear my hair has no bearing on my spiritual, political , personality or ethnic consciousness. was starting to get sucked up in my own personal conflict in my mind. PHEW!

 

 

SUNDAY WORSHIP

 

this song completely overwhelmes me, sometimes i fail to understand God , his entireness ....am just lost for words, so i just raise my hands up to the heavens and cry in worship...one moment in the presnce of the King of Kings and you wont leave as the same person....his name be praised with my life and all that i am, that is my prayer.

 

 

 

 

YOU DO MIGHTY THINGS- SINACH

I stand amazed in your presence
There is nothing you cannot do
I stand amazed in your presence
There is joy peace and hope

There's no one like you, Jesus
There's no one like you, in all the earth
There's no one like You, Jesus
There's no one like you

You do mighty things
You do glorious things
You're a faithful God
Awesome is your name

LOVE THAT FABRIC!

The chitenge fabric in my Zambian culture is mainly worn to preserve a womans modesty. But fast track into modern society that culture is long forgotten with all the western fashion trends and culture that has crippled our society. Today its only the elderly that make the most use of it and occassions such as funeral gatherings, back then they where also worn on a woman's traditional bridal shower but to my shock when i recently attended one, that is becoming a thing of the past too! I was recently invited to one and before attending the shower i was fretting that between assignments and classes i didnt have much time to see a tailor to have an outfit custom made for the occasion so i was quite unhappy that i was going to to attend it in a western outfit. But boy was i gobsmacked when i arrived to find the women, some old enough to be my mother in Beyonce tight and Lady GaGa outrageous so called  "glamourous" outfits. So am there thinking when did we all decide to throw away our beautiful chitenge fabric and dresses for such occasions, and trade them for style advice from E! TV and the Style network ???





fabric display at a market

Anyways am one of those young people who are still madly nuts about the african fabric, even if its just to keep for a souvenir . the bright array of colors and patterns intricately put together is something you just gotta love. its a pity that not so many fellow young zambian women appreciate the beauty of this amazing fabric. And what makes me even more sad is that many local industries have gone done the drain and we no longer have the fabric made locally, so all of it found in the country is mostly from Congo, Nigeria, Ghana , Tanzania and who knows maybe even China. My favourite are the ones from Ghana because they are usually bright coloured. Currently am mostly a collector but is i soon want to start designing them into fabulous outfits, a number of fashion houses in the country have elaborated that the fabric is so versatile that it can be styled to match contemporary trends. What i would love to see is someday soon walk into woolworth , foschini and the like, and see locally designed and made chitenge fabric outfits on display. If not then open up stores that are of international competetive standards and be able to promote local art and culture.  I dont want a situation when am old one day and get to tell my kids about how we once upon a time had this beautiful fabrics we used to call a chitenge, like how my mum gets to tell us of how back then they had a number of locally run food processing companies that made healthy juices and all that when they were kids, but today they are no more..I would also like to see textile companies revived to have the fabric is designed and made locally, in turn improving the livelyhoods of local people in the process...And nop! That is no pipe dream.... Zambia and Africa at large better watch out for this Girl!




petekani eleven collection...by local fashion house


ps: pics are borrowed.

TWENTY LIFE LESSONS LEARNT.....FOR SOME, THE HARD WAY!

1.       God should not be an option but a priority in everyday life. (I could have spared myself some of the wrong decisions, mistakes and heart aches had I constantly walked right with him)

2.       Living in the moment and acting out of foolishness is not so wise. Yes! YOLO it is but every action has consequences you have to face after the YOLO moment.

3.       That not every friend should be a friend. Unnecessary company leads astray and sometimes you only realise when you have been led far too deep.

4.       Soap opera, Disney and chick flip love romance stories aren’t exactly how it should ALWAYS go in real life. God has written my own love story especially for me and I just have to be patient enough (don’t sweat it girl!!)

5.       That family will always love you unconditionally and will ALWAYS come through for you, the differences that we go through are nothing but signs that we are just human but at the end of the day those differences are nothing. (I LOVE MY FAMILY!!!!!)

6.       Trying to please and impress others will cost you a lot and get you nowhere at the end of the day.  I didn’t have to prove my worth or campaign for Jesus to love and die for me, so I certainly don’t have to do so with any human

7.       It doesn’t hurt to always wear a smile. There have been people I went to college with who only managed to gather the guts to approach me after a year saying they had been afraid to come up to me because I usually wore a serious face (imagine that!!! When in reality am the most warm person ever disguised in a shy mask mistaken for seriousness)

8.       It pays to start working hard right from high school. I have missed some serious opportunities all because I never made good grades in my high school certificate.

9.       There is more to being a woman than dreaming of a fairytale white wedding and a happily ever after. You have to aspire to work hard, advance yourself and make your mark in society, not just in the house (at least I got to learn this lesson from others, wise girl!)

10.   Saving habits should be started from as early as possible, just because you got the money in your pocket doesn’t mean you should spend it all, plan for your shopping to avoid impulse buying. You never know when you will REALLY need that money....my momma taught me that, still learning it though

11.   Your first love isn’t always the one you are supposed to end up with; it makes things a whole lot easier for the heart if you can quickly accept a failed relationship and move along. God always has the best in mind for you.

12.   It is okay to be SINGLE!!!!!  Sometimes I felt pressured to be in a relationship because of my circle of friends and family. For every girlie rendezvous the agenda should always take on the topic of men, what he did or said or got me or promised me or what he didn’t do  blab...bla.. bla and the advice for any failing relationship is ‘ you deserve better move on and find another man’ . It is only recently that God has taught me that hopping from one relationship to another isn’t the cure for a heartbreak or to fill the need to be loved. and that the best relationship I can ever have is first with God and loving myself enough to be in a relationship with me before I can go on to loving another human being unconditionally and without reservation.

13.   The notions of bitter and disappointed women that “all men are the same”, “all men are dogs” and so on are not entirely true. Just because there are some bad seeds don’t mean all the rest are spoilt too. There are plenty of good, faithful and God fearing men out there. Not that they are perfect but  that when they fail or make mistakes, the godly conviction in them will make them realise it and repent and make things right, not covering up their sins with lies and deception. (I so know God will lead me to that man ... patience darling!)

14.   As much as I aspire greatness in my own right and way and if it so happens that I end up doing better than the man ill spend my entire life with, I don’t have to lose the respect I need to accord him as the MAN and head of our house!!! (it’s how I understand it )

15.   How you dress has a lot to say about who you are and how you want people, especially men to approach and treat you.. ... in all fashion and glamour endeavours, modesty should be kept in mind .(i gush at myself when i think of how i used to flash my cleavage *covers face* lol )

16.   Drinking your head off is not the way to have fun and chill over the weekend.  Getting to hang out with drunken people with a clear mind just made me see how reckless and foolish people can get (i used to get i must say), even more disheartening if they are people old enough to be your grandfather or mother. Losing my self respect certainly isn’t worth the shots or bottles. It’s a shame that people can speak so highly of alcohol, when in Africa its one of the leading causes of broken homes and a counter to productivity and progress. (Find me on the weekend raising my coffee mug up, cheers to that: D)

17.   That there is no such thing as being overly ambitious. People with mediocre minds will always want to bring you down to their level by making you feel inferior.

18.   Better early than sorry. You don’t lose anything by being early but being late could cost you much.

19.   Having the looks and image is nothing if your personality and inside don’t go with it. (beauty is vain but the woman who fears the LORD shall be praised)

20.   You can’t always run around in heels just because you want to feel on top of your game and look the look, sometimes a flat shoe can enable you to achieve so much in a day and avoid the achy toes and blisters at the end of the day:p

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